Ken’s Rules for Table Etiquette and Manners

Dinner

All the fine china and delicate crystal in the world can’t equal the special qualities of graciousness, warmth and genuine hospitality extended by a host or hostess to their guests.

The etiquette of entertaining begins with a code of behavior, based on kindness and consideration, and continues with the guidelines that enable you to be self-confident and comfortable in any social situation, whether it be a picnic on the beach or a formal ball.

  1. Sit properly at the table, back straight. Ladies have ankles crossed and knees together.
  2. Only the wrist up may touch the table. No elbows or arms on the table.
  3. Hold the knife and fork properly.
    1. There are two basic methods for eating with a knife and fork. The “American” involves having your fork in your left and your knife in your right when cutting your food, then putting the knife down and switching your fork to your right hand to eat, tines facing upwards. With the “European” method, the fork remains in the left hand and the knife helps coax your food onto your fork. The tines remain facing downwards.
  4. Wait, Watch, Follow. Do not touch anything on the table until the hostess does. Wait for everyone to be served. If you are unsure of anything, watch your hostess and follow suit.
  5. Wait for the hostess to sit before sitting down. Wait for her to put her napkin in her lap and pick up her fork before you eat.
  6. Put your napkin in your lap with the folded edge by your waist for lunch or open it all the way for dinner.
  7. Use outside utensils first. Work from the outside inward. Dessert fork or spoon is above the plate.
  8. Eat slowly, quietly, mouth closed. Do not talk with food in your mouth.
  9. Taste a little bit of everything that is offered (two bites for politeness).
  10. Season your food after you taste it.
  11. Break of bread one bite at a time and butter each bite.
  12. When eating soup, use a soup spoon and scoop the soup away from you. No noise or slurping.
  13. Rest the knife at the top of the plate (with sharp edge of the knife facing the center of the plate) and fork (tines up) at the 4:00 position as you eat your meal.
  14. If you get up during the meal, always excuse yourself. (Excuse me, I will be right back). Never leave without saying something.
  15. If you get up from the table and are not finished eating, crisscross your knife (sharp edge facing in) and fork (tines down) on your plate with the handles of the utensils resting on the edge of the plate so they do not get food on them. The fork is on top. Put your napkin on the back of your chair.
  16. When you are finished eating, place your knife (sharp edge in) and forl (tines up) with the handles next to each other at the 4:00 position (right handed people) or at the 7:00 position if you are left handed. Put your napkin to the left of your plate.

Manners must govern the rigid rules of etiquette.  Yet, one must be ready to forego a rule of etiquette to keep from embarrassing another person. Proper Southern manners, for example, would never correct someone over an etiquette rule not followed.